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The Exception Page 18
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“And I’m sure you loved yours, too,” I said softly. I wondered if Cane’s mother had loved him. How could she if she left him? But how could she not? I imagined a mini-Cane with messy blond hair, mischievous eyes, and his playful smirk. How would you not love that?
I thought back to my mother and how much she loved Kari and me. I couldn’t fathom her willingly walking out of our lives. Even though I wasn’t with her when she died, I knew she would have been fighting to stay with us. She loved us with everything she had.
“My mom is a coldhearted bitch. I could never love someone like that. For a very long time, I wasn’t sure I could ever love anyone again.” He grinned.
I wasn’t sure if I should read into that, so I chose to ignore the last part of his statement. “But she was your mother. I’m sure you loved her then. Maybe not now.”
“I don’t love her now. I’m not capable of loving her now.”
“You’re capable of a lot more than I think you realize,” I smiled.
“Not that. She doesn’t exist to me anymore. The secret of moving on is to focus your energy on the future and not on the past. She’s the past. And I’m too busy looking ahead to remember her.”
“I love it that you told me about your family. I’m sure you don’t like to talk about it.”
“Yeah,” he said, picking up his napkin and wadding it into a ball. “I don’t talk about this shit. It worries me that I find myself running off at the mouth when you’re around.”
He smiled slowly at me and I got up, walked around the table, and sat on his lap, running my hands through his hair. I tugged his head back lightly and kissed him.
“Well, I like that you find yourself telling me things.” I kissed him on the top of his head. “You know, I like to think my life is kind of like the books I read, only I’m the author. I can write the story I want. The future can be anything I want it to be.”
He moved his head side to side, considering my words. “That works, as long as your story has a blond stud that fucks like an animal.”
“Well, he’s blond …” His lips covered mine and all thoughts of anything but Cane vanished.
JADA
“I’d like to show you one more thing, if you don’t have to get home,” Cane said, as we got back into the SUV. I buckled my seatbelt.
Cane laughed as he watched me click the latch in place. “Is that a hint?”
“Maybe,” I winked. “But no—I don’t have to get home. I’d love to see whatever you would like to show me.”
Since the topic of his parents came up, Cane had been a little quieter than usual and I didn’t push.
Surely he realized it would come up if he brought me here.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is his way of telling me who he is. Actions speak louder than words.
I turned my head and watched Cane drive. He was cool, in control, and utterly handsome. Any person looking in wouldn’t have any idea of the flood of memories I knew he was dealing with right now. He was very guarded to the world. But he chose to let me in.
Damien Rice crooned on the radio and I gazed out the window, finding myself in a contemplative mood as well.
What would it feel like to not have experienced having a mother? How would life be different if you didn’t have memories of your mother tucking you in at night or reading you a bedtime story? The thought made my heart drop.
I watched Cane as he focused on the road and realized how much he had missed. I wondered how that had changed who he was as a man. And then to lose his father on top of it … he must feel incredibly alone in the world.
Before long, we were driving up a winding gravel road at the base of the mountains. There were homes littered around, but few and far between as the elevation rose. We turned up a lane and started up the side of one of the smaller peaks. As we inched higher and higher, it felt like we were leaving the world behind us. I watched the lights grow farther away as we reached the top and everything flattened. Cane put the Denali in park and turned off the lights.
I was stunned.
We were practically sitting on top of the city, the twinkling lights lay at our feet like a sea of flashing stars. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
It was simply magical.
Cane got out of the SUV and walked to the back. Soon he came around, opening my door. He kissed me gently on the lips before I stepped out and the magnificence of our surroundings hit me. I was truly in awe.
The constant noise of the city ceased to exist. Silence reigned and it was like being in another world, looking down on Earth. I inhaled a breath of fresh, cool air as I spun in a circle, taking it all in.
Cane grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the vehicle. He spread a blanket across the granite pieces strewn about the desert floor and sat down, pulling me gently with him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I nestled against his chest, my new favorite place to be.
“This is just fabulous. I don’t even know what to say, Cane. This literally takes my breath away,” I whispered. He hugged me tighter. “This may be the most perfect place on Earth.”
“It is more perfect with you here,” he said before kissing my cheek. “I thought maybe you would enjoy it. Or I hoped you would, anyway.”
“I really do. How did you find this place?”
He looked at me for a long moment and I could tell he was searching for words. Finally, he said, “It’s mine.”
“What do you mean it’s yours?”
His face smoothed out, hiding whatever he was really feeling. “My grandfather owned a lot of this ground back in the day. Practically everything around here. He sold a lot of it off as the years went by, but this is still one chunk out here that we, I mean, I, own.”
“I love that you brought me here. This place is really special; even before I knew that it was yours, I still felt it.”
He brought his head down to mine and pressed his cheek onto my head. “I’ve never brought someone up here before.”
“Why?” I asked. “It’s amazing. Why wouldn’t you want to share this with anyone?”
“I mean, there have been people here before,” he laughed. “Max has spent many nights up here back in the day. We camped up here a lot growing up. There’s been many beers drank in this very spot.”
“We should bring wine next time.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
The city lights twinkled below, the only sound coming from the wind whistling through the canyons around us. I felt so at peace sitting in this remarkable place with this remarkable man; at that moment, I wouldn’t have traded places with anyone else in the world.
“This place is kind of sacred to me.” I felt his shoulders rise and fall. “I’ve never brought a girl up here before. I didn’t want to taint it or something. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Tell me about your grandpa.” I hesitated as soon as the words left my mouth, hoping I wasn’t pushing for too much too soon.
“I spent a lot of time around here with him growing up. Dad worked a lot, trying to build his own empire, trying to give us the best life he could. Mom hated that he worked so much. She thought he should just get a little pudfuck job from my grandfather. But Dad wouldn’t do that. He wanted to do his own thing.”
I frowned. “So that’s why she left, right?”
He nodded. “So, with no one around to watch me, Grandpa Ben got stuck with me,” he said, smiling fondly. “We hiked up here, searched for gold. Well, I searched for gold. And snakes. And cool rocks. Grandpa just kind of walked around. I bet I’ve walked every bit of desert out here at one point or another.”
“See that rock ledge over there?” Cane asked, pointing to a rock wall on the left. “Ask Max about that one of these days,” he chuckled.
“What’s that about?” The thought of Cane and Max together in their teenage years made me smile.
“That’s not my story to tell. But it’s a helluva laugh, I promise you that.”r />
“Sounds interesting.”
“Yeah, more like entertaining.”
“It sounds like you had a nice childhood.” I hoped the smile on his face would remain.
“I did, all in all. What about you? What was your childhood like?”
I relaxed, letting my mind wander to the past. “I had a great childhood. Kari was born a few years after me, so I always had someone to play with. Dad always worked a lot, but he would take us with him into the office sometimes on the weekends and let us ‘help’. Mom stayed at home and made dinner, did laundry, all of that stuff. Our house was always decorated for the nearest holiday. That kind of thing.”
“Was she a lot like you?”
I sighed. “I hope I’m like her. She was stronger than me, that’s for sure. She always knew what to do, what to say. I always feel so unsure.”
“Some of that probably comes with age, don’t you think?”
“Maybe.”
We sat quietly, watching the lights twinkle.
“You know I think you’re really fucking strong, right? I’ve never known anyone like you. Every woman in my life, besides my grandmother, has always been weak. Needy. Wanting shit from me or someone else if they had something better to offer. But not you. ”
I shrugged. “I can get things for myself. I don’t need a man for that. I don’t need a man at all, actually. I just want someone around to enjoy things with, to laugh with, to look forward to things with.”
I watched him smile to himself as he looked across the city. “I’m glad you opened up a little and told me things about you.”
He turned to face me, shrugging. “It must be the air out here making me act all dumb.” He scrunched up his face, making me giggle. “I don’t really know why I told you all of that. You’re just really easy to talk to and this place just brings back so many memories. I don’t have anyone to share them with but Max. And he’s a dipshit.”
I pulled my legs up beneath me. “I’m glad you have this place to remind you of your family. I hate that they are all gone.”
“Yeah, well, my grandma used to call family ‘the tie that binds’. I never understood that until my dad passed away. It’s okay most of the time. I stay busy with work and working out, things like that. It’s just my normal. But holidays and things are lonely.”
“I’ve never been alone on a holiday, so I can’t even tell you I understand how that feels. But it must be awful.”
“Yeah, it does suck a little. But I don’t have to buy gifts, so that’s a plus.” He laughed. “I’m always invited to Max’s family stuff, but they are this huge southern family and all touchy feely and not really my speed. Those are the times I wish I still had my family around. I remember when my dad was alive how that felt, just the thought that someone would love you no matter how much you fucked up. And I fucked up a lot, as you can imagine. But there was a safety net built by blood. I miss that.”
“You can have your own family someday, you know?” I threw that out there, hoping that it was something he could hold on to and look forward to.
“Yeah, maybe,” he smiled. “It would be a shame not to carry on the Alexander name. We are Alexanders!” He shook his fist in the air and laughed at himself.
I looked at him like he was crazy.
Cane laughed. “Grandpa used to say that. Our last name means ‘strength’ in Greek. He used to say we were naturally stronger than other people. It was our namesake. So when things got hard, we had to remember that it was a time to get stronger, add to our name.”
“That is kind of hysterical.” I tried not to laugh.
“He was something, Grandpa Ben.”
“I think you’re something, Cane Alexander.”
“You do, huh?” He suddenly flipped me onto my back. “I’ll show you a little something …”
CANE
“Say that again.”
I slid my sunglasses on my face as I threw the Denali in drive, things becoming a total clusterfuck.
“It’s a fuckin’ pond out here, Cane. It’s a disaster.”
I tore out of the parking lot of Alexander Industries, heading for Queen Creek.
“For fuck’s sake! What in the hell happened?”
I heard Max shout to someone before he came back on the line. “Looks like someone pierced a couple of the exposed waterlines last night. Everything is soaked. Water is literally running down the fucking street right now. The City is here and they’re pissed.”
I groaned. “Did you get it stopped?”
“Yeah. The cuts have been saddled and the water has stopped, but it’s still a mess, man.”
“First things first. What’s the City saying?”
“They are mad as hell. We have water and mud flowing down fucking Ocotillo Road.” Max shouted again to someone else. “You are going to want to let me handle the City.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I flew onto the freeway towards the East Valley, my foot even heavier than usual. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“That’s fine, but they’re pissed and you’re going to be pissed. Just let me handle this. Your public relations skills need work anyway.”
I leaned against the window. “So how in the fuck did this happen? These were just random cuts in two different waterlines? That’s what you’re telling me?”
“That’s what I’m telling you. There were gashes sliced in both lines that the utility sub uncovered at the end of the day yesterday.”
I chewed on the side of my cheek. “So this wasn’t a random burst then.”
“Nah, someone sliced them sure as shit.”
“Powers?”
“That’s what I’d bet my money on. I told you right off that this is where I thought he’d hit you. This is the reason why your dad is in the grave and his is in the pen. It makes sense.”
“You’re right. And it’s our most visible project. This is going to be a mess, PR-wise, so this fucks us a few different angles … the most bang for his buck.”
“Exactly.”
“We need to see if anyone saw anything,” I said, chewing on my fingernail.
“I already have the word out to check surveillance cameras from the neighboring buildings and threw up a reward if someone knows something, but I’m not holding my breath. It’s so fucking dark out here once the sun goes down and people aren’t alert enough these days to see anything.”
“All right. Well, go smooth things over with the City and I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I glanced at the clock.
“Don’t pull up here raising hell, man. Remember—flies. Honey.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Whatever.”
JADA
The following Saturday afternoon was blistering hot and Kari and I sat in her car outside of Cane’s house, the air conditioner blasting cool air. I picked at the hemline of my black bathing suit cover-up, while Kari checked her makeup.
I had lost a bit of weight since the Simon ordeal and my cover-up was a little looser as a result. My nerves were beginning to settle; I wasn’t looking over my shoulder as much as I had originally. The bruises had faded and every day felt like another day away from the craziness.
“Have you ever been here before?” I asked, looking up at the brown and ivory house sitting before us. It was a two story home with a fence coming off of both sides, encompassing the backyard. The landscape was clean and tidy, a sprinkler going off as I watched. It was just the kind of place I had pictured Cane would live in.
It was a gated community. All of the houses looked relatively new and all relatively the same. Cane’s house backed up to the golf course that meandered its way through the subdivision and I vaguely wondered if Cane played golf. He had never mentioned it and I couldn’t see his lack of patience faring very well on the course.
“Uh, no,” Kari said, looking at me like I was crazy. “Why would I have ever been here?”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d been here with Max,” I sighed. “I have only been her
e once before and … I don’t know. What if it’s weird being here?”
“Why would it be weird being here?”
I shrugged.
“Well, he clearly wants you here, Jada. He asks you all the time to come and you always end up getting him to come to my house. So relax.”
I took a deep breath and exited the car, not sure why in the hell I was nervous about this.
“Stop fidgeting with that ring! You’re being dumb,” Kari said as she forged ahead and rang the doorbell. As we stood there waiting on them to answer the door, we could hear music playing inside.
“Seriously? What are they listening to?” Kari said, twisting her face in disgust.
“It’s Five Finger Death Punch. I heard it playing in Cane’s Denali the other day.”
“We’re going to have to fix that!”
The door flew open and Max stood there in a pair of camouflage swim trunks, sans shirt and shoes. A dark tattoo ran up his left side, a mixture of art and words. His left pectoral muscle had a tribal design, too. His dark hair was wet and looked like he had been running his hand through it, the one presumably not holding the red plastic cup. I stifled a laugh as Max smiled seductively at Kari.
“Hey,” Kari said in her flirtiest voice, giving him a megawatt smile.
“Ladies,” Max said, eyeing us for a second before bending down and kissing my sister. “Come on in. Cane is out back.”
I stepped through the doorway and glanced around the great room. The house was bright and airy. A black leather sofa and love seat faced a large flat screen television mounted on the wall, a pool table sitting behind the sofa. There was a selection of magazines on the coffee table, but not a lot of personal touches. Everything was very masculine, but organized.
We sauntered into the kitchen and I could see Cane outside, tending the grill. He had on a pair of white swim trunks with a blue checkered print that hung low on his hips and sunglasses. And that was deliciously it.
His body was golden brown and chiseled to perfection. He wasn’t too big and bound up looking, just athletic and strong. I couldn’t help but whimper a little at the sight; he looked like he walked straight out of a magazine.