The Exception Page 24

  The house felt so empty, cavernous … lonely.

  How did I never notice this before?

  I looked around the room, realizing for the first time how cold everything seemed; how much I missed the little things that told me Jada had been around.

  A grin crept across my face as I looked at the floor in front of the oven. Her naked body, her shy smile, her voice asking me to take her right there in the middle of the spilled flour … I shook my head.

  Damn I miss her.

  My chest began to tighten, a twitch that I wasn’t used to feeling rippling through my torso. It was strange and uncomfortable, almost a hollow pain … like there was something missing and a part of me was gone.

  What the hell is happening to me?

  I poured another shot and downed it, clenching my teeth as the liquor tore its way down my throat. The burn was a welcome feeling, covering the emptiness that I felt inside.

  She should be here right now.

  I grabbed the DeLeon tequila and tipped it back, taking a shot right from the bottle.

  But she can’t be. Not until I know that everything is okay. I can’t risk her safety by being with her all the time.

  I needed Jada like I needed air. I wasn’t sure how in the hell I had gotten to that point or when it had happened, but I couldn’t really deny it.

  I thought back up to the plans on my desk and laughed at myself.

  I’m such a fucking tool.

  I walked through the living room and into the guest bedroom I had converted into a workout room and grabbed my boxing gloves.

  I need to stop the insanity now, while I can. I haven’t committed; I can still walk away. Go back to the way things were. Remember that? When you followed the rules? Things were easy. Fun. Focused.

  I stuck my hands into one of the red gloves, laughing at myself.

  Who am I kidding? I can’t go a fucking hour without thinking about her. There’s no way I can call anything off.

  I got my other hand situated in its glove and stretched my arms out to the side. My body was tense, my muscles stiff. I threw out a couple of jabs, getting warmed up.

  Why couldn’t Simon have stayed in California? Why did he have to move back to Phoenix a few months before Jada?

  I threw a couple of jabs and followed them with my left hand, getting into the flow.

  Did I really have that much bad fucking karma?

  I began to pepper the bag with combinations, the sound of the gloves smacking the leather loud, but not louder than my thoughts.

  The harder I threw, the madder I got. With each punch, a bit of the bullshit that clouded my fucking head cleared out and I was able to focus. Boxing had always done that for me, given me a way to see who I really was. What I really wanted.

  The bag didn’t care who I was or what I should want. It stood in front of me and let me assault it, let me work shit out for myself without trying to talk me out of or into anything.

  Regardless of what it takes, I am going to make this fucking work. If I have to kill the bastard myself, I will. But I won’t lose Jada over this. This may be a fucked up few months, at best, but she’s mine.

  The bag bounced on its stand, shaking the chain that held it in place. The sound of my fists slamming into the leather was like music to my ears, reminding me that I was in control. I created my own destiny. I could get what I wanted.

  I threw a hard overhand right and watched the bag shake until it stopped.

  I have what I want. I want Jada Stanley. Fuck everything else.

  I pulled my gloves off, my moment of clarity more like a moment of acceptance of the things I already knew, and picked up my phone.

  Me: I miss you. Hope you’ve had a good night.

  Jada: Just got into bed.

  Me: I should be with you.

  Jada: You know where to find me.

  I smiled as I felt a pull overcome me to do just that: find her and never let her go.

  Soon.

  Me: I’m working on AH tonight. I have a few things I have to get worked out by Monday.

  Jada: I heard Max talking about that. He said it was going to be the death of him.

  I chuckled.

  Me: He’s just wanting sympathy.

  Jada: LOL

  Me: I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. I’ll try to come by tomorrow, if that’s okay?

  Jada: I’d love that. I miss you.

  Me: Goodnight.

  Jada: Goodnight <3

  Me: Heart.

  JADA

  “You look like hell,” Kari observed the next morning, giving me a once over and wrinkling her nose. She walked into the kitchen, her teal and cream robe wrapped tightly against her. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun and I could tell that Max was lurking around somewhere.

  I picked at my toast. “Thanks.”

  I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, a kaleidoscope of images shuffling through my dreams keeping me awake. Memories of Decker at the harbor, Cane on the mountain, my drive to Arizona all rotated, interchanged, and replaced each other into a twisted, jumbled mess.

  And that’s exactly how I felt, sitting at the table and watching Kari pour herself a cup of coffee … like a twisted and jumbled mess. Why can’t I be more like Kari? Controlled, determined, put together.

  I was none of those things; I couldn’t even keep my damn dreams straight. It was the story of my life. I would think I had something figured out and then I would see it was all a ruse or wishful thinking.

  Kari sat down across the table and picked up the newspaper. “Let’s do something today,” she said, undoubtedly looking for the travel section. “I want to do something fun.”

  Max sauntered into the room, a pair of wrinkled jeans hanging off of his hips. He broke stride for a half a second to scan my face, before heading to the coffee pot. “You want to do something today? Let’s go to Pinnacle Peak.”

  “Yeah, let’s not,” I said, giving him a look.

  Kari’s eyes shot up in stark contrast to mine. “Yes! I love Pinnacle Peak!”

  Max shook his head at Kari before turning to look at me. “Do you have something better to do, Ms. Stanley?”

  “No, actually I don’t. Cane said he may come by today, not that I’m holding my breath at this point.” I wrapped my white robe around me tighter, trying to somehow protect myself from disappointment.

  “Why are you so grumpy today?” Kari asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “I don’t know. I just am.”

  “Tell you what,” Max said, “give Cane a call and see what his plans are today. I think you both need some sunshine and I need some exercise.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to go.”

  “You need to go. So go get your ass ready.” Max looked to Kari. “Asses. Both of you.”

  “And to think I liked you when I first met you. Funny,” I commented, getting up from the table. “But you are right, as much as I hate to admit it. I do need to get out of this house to somewhere other than work. So let me call Cane so he can tell me he’s busy and then I’ll be ready. Give me twenty minutes.”

  “That’s the spirit!” Kari exclaimed. Her exuberance was a little more than I could handle.

  I headed to my room and sat on the chair by the window.

  If I call Cane, he’ll say he can’t see me today and I’ll have to pretend it doesn’t matter. Or I can just text him and save face.

  Nodding at my decision, I pulled up his text box.

  Me: Max wants to take Kari and me to Pinnacle Peak today for a hike. What are the odds you may come by?

  I chewed on a nail, waiting for his response to come in. It took a few minutes before I heard the ping.

  Cane: I have a couple of meetings today, so if I do get a chance, it’ll be this evening. Why don’t you go ahead with Max?

  Me: Will do.

  Cane: I’ll see you soon, okay?

  Me: Okay. Xo

  I waited for a return message, but it didn’t come
. With a heavy heart, I pulled on a pair of yoga pants, a yellow and grey striped t-shirt, and some sneakers and went back downstairs; Kari and Max were waiting by the front door.

  “Let’s get this over with.” My voice was decidedly less enthusiastic as it had been a few moments before. Having Cane bail on me again took the wind out of my sails.

  We made our way out the front door and to his truck. He drove a black on black Ford F-150 that was all jacked up; it was pretty formidable.

  “I only like you because of this truck, you know,” Kari mentioned as we climbed into the cab.

  “Good to know,” he said before shutting his door and turning on the engine. A low rumble reverberated through my body as he backed out the driveway, flipping to a country station on his radio.

  Besides Max answering a few work calls on his cell, the ride was pretty quiet. I found myself wishing that Cane was with us, but I reminded myself of his words: things would be back to normal soon.

  I really hoped that was true. I missed him.

  The more I thought about it, the more down I felt. I tried to focus on the banter between my sister and Max and the songs on the radio but nothing could overtake the worry, the fear that something was falling apart.

  Before long, Max pulled into the parking lot of Pinnacle Peak and we got out of the truck.

  “Seriously. Could this thing be any higher?” I asked as I descended to the ground.

  “It could. But I felt any more would be overkill,” Max snickered.

  “Ha, ha.”

  Max grabbed us bottles of water from the cooler in the back and led the way.

  It was a beautiful day, the weather finally beginning to cool off just a bit. The sun was bright but not baking and an easy breeze flowed. With each step on the granite-strewn trail, my mood elevated, too. Max paused dutifully as Kari and I stopped to take silly selfies by the cacti. As we got to the actual pinnacle, I was actually smiling.

  Kari and Max walked to the other side, taking a selfie of their own, and I sat by myself on the hard ground. The desert looked beautiful from that elevation and I recalled a similar view I had seen with Cane by my side. I smiled as I remembered him opening up to me a little bit that night, sharing stories about his family. Looking out across the city from a different point than I did that night, I realized everything looked differently, depending on the perspective.

  I glanced over to my right and saw a little flower growing in the midst of a strip of bare desert floor. It had a thick stalk lodged in a crack in the earth; its spectacular peachy-hued petals were basking in the sun.

  This little flower made it, I realized, through tons of adversity. It overcame the rocks, the heat, and the location and blossomed because it fought for what it wanted.

  I stood and looked out across the desert.

  I needed to fight for what I wanted, too.

  As we got back into Max’s truck a little while later, my phone went off.

  Cane: I miss you.

  Me: I miss you, too.

  The sun had begun to set in the west, casting shadows across the back yard. Kari and I sat by the pool watching Max push a broom across the floor. After our hike, we had stopped for lunch at the Mexican restaurant where I had first met Cane.

  I was in the same boat leaving Blanca’s as I was in the last time—quietly hoping for a call from Cane Alexander.

  A light breeze tickled our skin as we sat stretched out on the chaise lounges. The sun was hidden by the acacia trees in the yard and I felt my body begin to relax.

  I closed my eyes and listened to the pool swirl, the water splashing against the sides as Max pushed the pool broom across the floor.

  “Why do you have an automatic pool cleaner if you have to clean the thing yourself anyway?” he asked.

  “You don’t have to,” Kari said, tipping down her sunglasses. “You are just picky.”

  “We need to move somewhere that doesn’t require having a pool for survival.” Max submerged himself in the water and came back up hot and wet, his tattoos glistening with water droplets.

  “Move?” This was news to me.

  “Not specifically.” Kari looked to Max for help.

  “We have been talking about moving in together.” I could tell by the nonchalant way about his voice that he was testing me out, seeing how I would respond.

  “Oh,” I said, a little surprised. “I didn’t know that.”

  “We aren’t sure or anything,” Kari said hurriedly. “Just something we’ve been throwing out there.”

  I looked at my sister and Max as they shared a smile. “I actually think that’s great.” I set my e-reader down. I couldn’t concentrate on Blake and Cam anyway. “Are you getting a new place or moving in here or Max’s or what?”

  “We don’t know. I said we were just thinking about it,” Kari said laughing.

  I watched Max work his way around the pool, his muscles pushing and pulling. “I have been checking out apartments online, too. I need to just pull the trigger on one.”

  Max looked at me. “Have you talked to Cane about that?”

  “I would have to talk to Cane at all before I could talk to him about that.” I raised my eyebrows, challenging Max to a response.

  I watched him force a swallow before swinging his eyes to the side gate. “What’s up, Alexander?”

  My breath caught in my throat as my eyes followed Max’s eyes to the side gate.

  Looking rumpled and without the cocky swagger he usually had, Cane came around the corner. He flashed Max a little wave before his eyes found me.

  He walked over with a determined look on his face, taking his sunglasses off and training his eyes on me. He bent down and buried his face in the side of my neck, kissing me lightly behind the ear.

  “Hey,” he whispered.

  He pulled away to study my face before sitting on the edge of my chair.

  “Did you get Howard’s call?” Cane turned towards Max.

  Max’s forehead creased as he stopped pushing the broom. “No. Why?”

  “We had a boatload of copper pipe go missing from the Benjamin site sometime last night.” Cane’s face was awash in frustration.

  “You’re kidding me.” Max shook his head, the laughter in his eyes from a few minutes prior now evaporated. “What the fuck?”

  Cane shrugged. “I’ve been dealing with that today. Security makes rounds in two hour intervals, so someone must have been casing the joint or it was an inside job.”

  “None of our guys are going to steal that shit. We’ve had the same guys forever.” Max disconnected the broom and hopped up, sitting on the side of the pool.

  Cane shrugged again, his shoulders tense. “We filed a police report. They’ll notify the local pawn shops and shit to watch for it. But we’ll probably never find it.”

  “Did you call Nick?”

  Cane flashed Max a look, causing him to blanch. “Yeah.”

  Max nodded, his knuckles white as he gripped the ledge of the pool. “Do you need me to do anything?”

  “You did everything I needed you to do today,” Cane said, his voice softer. He looked down at me and smiled. “Now I’m taking my girl upstairs. Unless the fucking house is burning, I don’t want to be bothered tonight.” He shook his head. “On second thought, with the way shit is going, just let me burn with it.”

  He chuckled as he stood up with me in his arms and carried me inside. Cane buried his face into my hair and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my head against his chest. I could hear his heart pounding inside his body and it caused mine to speed up, too.

  He kicked open the door to my bedroom and sat me down at the foot of the bed. Grabbing my head with both hands, he stood as close as possible to me, our noses nearly touching. His eyes bored into mine. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t read him.

  Silence filled the room, neither of us able to say anything.

  “Jada,” he whispered, bending his head down and finding my lips with his own.

  “I
am glad you’re here.” My voice cracked with emotion as I looked at him. He looked exhausted.

  He motioned for me to climb into bed. I lay in my normal spot and he climbed in behind me, pulling me backwards so that my back was pressed firmly against his front. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head beneath his chin.

  “You are mine,” he said softly. “Do you know that?”

  “Yes,” I whispered back. “I’m yours.”

  He held me like that, not saying another word, until I felt his breath even out and his heartbeat slow.

  I knew he had fallen asleep.

  I lay awake for a long time, enjoying being wrapped in his arms. It seemed like such a long time had gone by since I had been able to breathe him in, feel him, relax with him and I didn’t know when the next time would come.

  Things have changed so much.

  I pushed the thought out of my mind, closed my eyes, and relaxed back into him.

  Before I knew it, I was fast asleep, too.

  JADA

  The following morning, we lay together in my bed, Cane still holding me tight. Every time I tried to move, he would clamp down tighter, like he was afraid I would leave. Even in his sleep the night before, his arms were around me like a vise grip.

  We talked about a few unimportant things, but mostly we just lay together quietly. I got the feeling he just wanted to be and I was okay with that. I had missed the physical connection with him as much as anything. Being with him felt like a part of me had been missing but was now back, and I didn’t want to ruin that. As good as it felt being in his arms, I knew that he would probably have to leave long before I wanted him to and I wanted to soak up as much Cane as I could to tide me over until he came back.

  “Cane,” I said, turning my head to look at him. His blue eyes missed a bit of the sparkle and mischief that they normally held and that worried me a little. “Are you okay?”

  He kissed my forehead. “Of course I’m okay.”

  “You know what I mean,” I said, spinning my ring around my finger, hesitant to ask the next question.

  Cane blew out a breath and looked at the ceiling.

  “There is something different between us. I just feel like I am on the outskirts of your life.”